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How crazy has the government gone this time? It has decided that paddle boards are considered to be a “vessel” when they are used outside of a swimming, surfing, or a bathing area.

What does that mean? It means that paddleboarders must have the following things on every paddleboard:

  1. A U.S. Coast Guard certified life jacket of proper fit and size.
  2. A sound producing device such as a whistle or foghorn.
  3. An Invasive Species Sticker affixed to the board.

Paddleboarders who don’t have both a life jacket and sound producing device on board will face a $99 fine, while those lacking the Invasive Species Sticker will be fined $72. Not only that, if you’ve had a couple beers while having fun on the lake, you can be arrested and charged with operating a vessel under the influence.

Planning a fun day on the water? Have no doubt that the nanny state will be there watching you.